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When people ask me why I chose to become a Certified Divorce Coach in Peoria, Illinois, I often share a story that changed my perspective on how we support people through one of life's most challenging transitions.
The Moment That Changed Everything
I had noticed my friend wasn't herself. For weeks, she seemed distracted, emotionally drained, and constantly on the verge of tears. Despite our close relationship, she kept whatever was troubling her hidden behind a brave smile and quick change of subject whenever I inquired.
One evening over coffee, I finally asked her directly what was wrong. Her composure crumbled as she confided that she was going through an incredibly difficult divorce. Her husband's multiple affairs had left her emotionally devastated, and now she was drowning in the overwhelming complexity of the Illinois divorce process. "I'm completely lost," she admitted. "My attorney speaks a language I don't understand. I'm afraid to call his office because every time I do, I end up more confused and with another expensive bill. I don't know my rights, my options, or even what questions I should be asking." Her situation struck a chord with me. Here was an intelligent, capable woman reduced to anxiety and confusion during one of the most pivotal moments of her life. She was making life-altering decisions without proper guidance or emotional support. I offered to help by reviewing her paperwork, accompanying her to her next meeting with her attorney, and creating a structured approach to her divorce. With my background in finance, organization and advocacy, I thought I could at least provide a second set of ears and a clear head. The difference was remarkable. During the meeting, I took detailed notes, asked clarifying questions her attorney hadn't addressed in a way she could understand, and helped translate legal jargon into understandable terms. Afterward, we developed a clear action plan with specific steps and timelines. Within months, her divorce was settled—with terms far more favorable than she had initially thought possible. More importantly, she regained her sense of control and confidence through the process. "You were my divorce coach before I even knew that existed," she told me later. "Without you, I would have accepted so much less for myself and my future." Her words planted a seed that would change my professional trajectory. My Own Divorce Journey in Central Illinois
What made me particularly suited to help my friend was my own experience with divorce. Years before, I had walked a similar path. I married my high school sweetheart after dating for four years through high school and college. We were driven individuals with similar personalities, graduating college in just three years to jumpstart our careers and achieve our goals faster.
But as we grew up, we grew apart—quickly. While our Illinois divorce was mostly amicable, it was still profoundly painful. The life I thought I knew and the couple I thought we were didn't match reality. I had to completely reinvent myself. Looking back, I can admit something I rarely shared: I floundered. I failed. I messed up. I didn't recognize myself. Though family and friends (the ones who stuck around) provided wonderful support, their advice inevitably came with heavy doses of emotion and bias. My lawyer knew we wanted an amicable divorce but offered no guidance about my blind spots or the emotional journey ahead. What I needed—what I desperately wished for—was a divorce coach near me in Peoria, someone who could have guided me with both expertise and compassion. Although I eventually found my way through, the journey could have been far less painful and disorienting with proper guidance. Recognizing a Critical Gap in Divorce Support
That personal experience, combined with helping my friend years later, highlighted something that had been hiding in plain sight: We have wedding planners who help people organize a single day of celebration, but where are the "divorce planners" to guide people through a process with far greater consequences for their future?
The more I looked into it, the more I realized how many people were navigating the Peoria divorce process—and divorces throughout Illinois and beyond—without proper support. Attorneys provide essential legal guidance but aren't trained to handle the emotional aspects of divorce or to educate clients on the practical implications of different decisions. Friends and family offer emotional support but rarely understand the legal complexities involved. This gap leaves many people feeling isolated and overwhelmed during divorce, often leading to poor decisions made from emotional reactivity rather than clear-headed planning. The consequences can impact finances, parent-child relationships, and emotional well-being for years to come. From Informal Support to Certified Divorce Coach
After years of informally helping friends through their divorces in Central Illinois, I realized I could make a greater impact with professional training. That's when I discovered the Certified Divorce Coach designation—a professional certification specifically designed to train individuals to guide others through the complex divorce journey.
The certification process was rigorous and comprehensive, covering:
What Does a Divorce Coach Do?
Many people in Peoria and throughout Illinois ask me, "What does a divorce coach do?" It's a fair question, since the role is still unfamiliar to many. Unlike attorneys who represent your legal interests or therapists who help heal emotional wounds, a divorce coach serves as a knowledgeable guide through the entire divorce process.
As a Certified Divorce Coach, I: Provide education about the divorce process - Many clients are facing divorce for the first time and don't know what to expect. I explain the steps involved in an Illinois divorce, typical timelines, and what documents and information they'll need to gather. Help clients organize and prioritize - Divorce involves countless decisions and tasks. I help clients create structured plans and organize information so they can approach the process methodically rather than reactively. Prepare clients for meetings with attorneys - By helping clients understand legal terminology and prepare questions in advance, I make attorney consultations more productive and cost-effective. Serve as an objective sounding board - During emotional moments, having someone who understands the process but isn't personally involved can help clients make clearer decisions. Assist with communication strategies - Whether communicating with an ex-spouse, attorneys, or other professionals, I help clients express themselves effectively and reduce unnecessary conflict. Support emotional well-being - While I'm not a therapist, I provide space for processing emotions and, when needed, can refer clients to appropriate mental health resources. Guide post-divorce adjustment - The work doesn't end when the papers are signed. I help clients transition to their new normal with practical strategies for rebuilding life after divorce. Clarify complex paperwork - My clients gain clarity on the Financial Affidavit, Parenting Plan, and all the other paperwork they receive from their attorney. This understanding empowers them to make informed decisions rather than signing documents they don't fully comprehend. Why Should I Hire a Divorce Coach?
When facing divorce in Peoria or anywhere in Illinois, you might wonder if hiring a divorce coach is necessary. After all, isn't that what attorneys are for?
The reality is that divorce involves much more than legal proceedings. It's a multifaceted transition that affects every aspect of your life—emotional, financial, social, and practical. Here's why working with a Certified Divorce Coach can make a profound difference: Financial efficiency - By helping you prepare for attorney meetings and understand legal concepts in advance, a divorce coach can significantly reduce your legal bills. Attorneys typically charge $300+ per hour, while divorce coaching is more affordable and helps you use attorney time more efficiently. Emotional clarity - Divorce triggers intense emotions that can cloud judgment. A divorce coach helps you separate emotions from decisions, leading to choices you'll feel good about long-term. Personalized guidance - Unlike the one-size-fits-all information found online, a divorce coach provides advice tailored to your specific situation and the particular nuances of Illinois divorce law. Reduced conflict - With strategies for effective communication and negotiation, a divorce coach can help prevent the escalation of conflict, potentially turning a high-conflict situation into a more cooperative one. Better outcomes - Clients who work with divorce coaches often report more satisfying settlements, smoother co-parenting transitions, and faster emotional recovery. Post-divorce success - Divorce coaching doesn't just help during the divorce itself; it equips you with tools and perspectives that support your well-being long after the legal process ends. Navigating blind spots - My own divorce taught me that we all have blind spots—things we can't see because we're too close to the situation. A divorce coach helps identify and address these blind spots before they create long-term problems. One client summarized it perfectly: "My attorney told me what I could do legally. My therapist helped me process my grief. But my divorce coach showed me how to actually navigate the process day by day and build a new life I'm excited about." 
The Gift of Divorcing Well
One of the most rewarding aspects of my work as a Certified Divorce Coach is witnessing what I call "the gift of divorcing well." When clients come to me, they're often overwhelmed and uncertain about their future. By the end of our work together, they've achieved something remarkable: a divorce process handled with dignity and intention.
My clients understand what comes next in the Family Law courts of Illinois. They have clarity on every document and decision. Most importantly, they remain focused forward on the end result: an amicable but fair divorce. A divorce in which they can coparent effectively if they have children or grandchildren. A divorce where they are financially stable and independent. A divorce that allows them to live the rest of their post-divorce life peacefully. This transformation—from confusion and fear to confidence and clarity—is the true gift of working with a divorce coach. It's not just about getting through the divorce; it's about emerging from the process with a foundation for a fulfilling new chapter. Divorce Coaching in Peoria, Illinois: A Local Perspective
While divorce follows similar patterns everywhere, the specifics of Illinois divorce law create unique challenges and opportunities for Peoria residents. As a Certified Divorce Coach practicing in this community, I've developed specialized knowledge of local resources, court procedures, and professional networks that can benefit my clients.
Understanding the Peoria family court system, knowing which local attorneys specialize in different types of cases, and being familiar with the financial implications of divorce in our specific economic context allows me to provide more targeted guidance than someone without local experience. Beyond the practical aspects, there's also value in working with someone who understands the community context of divorce in Peoria. I'm familiar with the unique challenges of rebuilding social connections in our area, navigating co-parenting within our school systems, and addressing the financial realities of post-divorce life in Central Illinois. 
Life After Divorce: My Personal Renaissance
Today, my life looks vastly different from those difficult days during and after my divorce. I've rebuilt a life I love in Peoria—one filled with hiking local trails, reading historical novels (my personal escape), enjoying good coffee, and mixing creative cocktails for our weekly Friday Pizza Nights. My sweet husband and kids love to travel and find adventure whenever we can!
This renaissance didn't happen automatically. It took time, effort, and intentional choices to create a new life that reflected my authentic self rather than the person I thought I needed to be in my marriage. This personal journey informs how I coach my clients—not to recreate my path, but to find their own way forward with greater ease than I experienced. 
The Journey Forward
Becoming a Certified Divorce Coach wasn't just a career change for me—it was a calling inspired by both my personal experience and witnessing the struggles others face during divorce. I've seen firsthand the profound difference that proper support can make.
Every client I work with reinforces my conviction that divorce coaching fills a critical gap in our support systems. When people navigate divorce with clear guidance, they not only survive the process but often emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to build meaningful new chapters in their lives. If you're facing divorce in Peoria or anywhere in Illinois, remember that you don't have to walk this path alone or in confusion. A Certified Divorce Coach can be the difference between a divorce that drains you of energy, resources, and hope, and one that—while still challenging—leads to growth and new possibilities. The divorce process may not be something anyone wishes to experience, but with proper support, it can become a transition led with dignity, clarity, and ultimately, hope for the future. If you're ready to see if taking the next best step by hiring a Certified Divorce Coach, schedule a Free Consultation with me. We'll talk about where you are, where you want to go and how I can help you get there. 
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The Sunk Cost Fallacy in Divorce: Why "Years Invested" Shouldn't Keep You in an Unhappy Marriage4/27/2025 Understanding the Hidden Psychology That Keeps You Stuck in Unhappy Relationships
As a divorce coach, I've witnessed countless clients struggle with this exact challenge. Today, I want to shed light on how this common thinking error affects decisions about whether to end a marriage, and provide practical guidance on how to overcome it.
What Is the Sunk Cost Fallacy and Why Does It Matter in Divorce?
How Common Is This Mental Trap in Divorce Situations?
Very common. Research suggests that the average person contemplating divorce considers it for 2-3 years before taking action. Many stay unhappily married for 5+ years before finally making the decision. The sunk cost fallacy is frequently at the heart of this delay.
Part 1: The Marriage Time Investment Trap"I've Given This Marriage 17 Years—I Can't Just Throw That Away". Jane (name changed) came to me after 17 years of marriage. "I've been unhappy for at least ten years," she admitted. "But every time I think about leaving, I can't help thinking about all the time I've already invested. Seventeen years is nearly half my life! If I leave now, wasn't it all just a waste?" This perspective is completely understandable—and extraordinarily common among people considering divorce. The longer the marriage, the stronger this feeling tends to be. The Mathematical and Emotional Reality of Staying for Sunk Costs
When we examine Jane's situation through the lens of the sunk cost fallacy, an important truth emerges: Those 17 years are gone regardless of what she does next. They cannot be "saved" or "validated" by staying in an unhappy relationship.
Let's look at this mathematically: If Jane stays in her unhappy marriage for another 20 years (until age 65), she will have spent 37 years in an unfulfilling relationship. If she moves forward with divorce now, she will have spent 17 years in that relationship, followed by potentially 20 years of a more fulfilling life—whether single or in a healthier partnership. The question becomes: Which future do you want for yourself? 
Reframing Your Marriage Investment: Lessons vs. Losses
An essential step in overcoming the sunk cost fallacy is reframing how we view our past investments. Consider these perspectives:
Why We Struggle with "Cutting Our Losses" in Marriage
Beyond the sunk cost fallacy, several factors make it particularly difficult to move on from unhappy marriages:
Breaking Free: How to Overcome Marriage Sunk CostsFocus on Future Value, Not Past Investment
The key question isn't "How much have I already invested?" but rather "What will my future look like if I stay versus if I leave?"
Professional divorce coaches recommend these reflection exercises:
Signs the Sunk Cost Fallacy Is Keeping You in an Unhappy Marriage
How Divorce Coaching Can Help You Move Forward
Working with a divorce coach provides crucial support for moving past the sunk cost mentality:
Investing in Your Future, Not Your PastThe sunk cost fallacy affects nearly everyone during major life transitions like divorce. Recognizing when past investments are influencing your decisions about the future is the first step toward making choices that truly serve your long-term happiness. Remember that the goal isn't to validate your past investments but to make the best choices for your future self. Your happiness matters, and it's never too late to change direction when something isn't working. Your Divorce Journey Doesn't Have to Be Defined by Past Investments
As a divorce coach, I specialize in helping clients break free from sunk cost thinking and make clear-headed decisions about their futures. My clients learn to:
Ready to Move Forward Without the Weight of Sunk Costs?If you're struggling with divorce decisions due to concerns about "wasted" investments in your marriage, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Together, we can explore strategies to overcome sunk cost thinking and create a path forward that focuses on your future well-being rather than past investments. Remember: The best time to make a positive change in your life is when you first recognize the need. The second best time is now. Are you ready? Click this button to schedule a free consultation! Coming Soon: The Sunk Cost Fallacy Part 2 - When It's Time to Change Your Divorce AttorneyIn my next blog post, I'll tackle another common sunk cost trap in the divorce process: staying with the wrong attorney because you've already invested thousands of dollars. I'll share strategies for determining whether you need a new lawyer or just better communication, how to transition attorneys smoothly if needed, and how divorce coaching can support you through this challenging aspect of the divorce journey. Don't miss this crucial follow-up that could save you significant money, time, and stress during your divorce proceedings! Why Won't My Abusive Spouse File for Divorce? Understanding the Control Behind the Resistance4/16/2025
Originally Published January 2024, Updated April 2025
All names are changed to protect client privacy
Even when someone has mentally prepared for divorce, the emotional rollercoaster remains—from sadness and anger to relief and hope. But among my divorce coaching clients, one situation consistently causes the most frustration and confusion: when an emotionally abusive spouse refuses to file for divorce.
The Perplexing Pattern of Abusive Partners Who Won't Let Go
"Why are they making ME do it?" my clients ask in exasperation. "They treat me terribly but won't file."
"My spouse hasn't touched me in years but claims they won't file because of their marriage vows." "I've begged them to try marriage counseling, but they refuse—and now that I want a divorce, they're blaming ME for destroying our family." If you're nodding along, recognizing your own relationship in these words, you're not alone. This pattern is incredibly common in emotionally abusive marriages. As a divorce coach who has guided countless individuals through this exact scenario, I can almost predict the storyline when clients begin describing their situation. Let's dive into why abusive partners often refuse to file for divorce, even when they seem to despise the relationship. 1. Control: The Ultimate Power Play in Toxic Relationships
At its core, an abusive spouse's refusal to file for divorce is about maintaining control. This dynamic has likely been the cornerstone of your relationship for years.
Sarah's Story: One client, Sarah, endured her husband's constant criticism and emotional manipulation for 12 years. When she finally gathered the courage to suggest divorce, he responded with, "If you want to destroy this family, that's on you. I would never do that to our children." Despite making her life miserable daily, he positioned himself as the committed partner and Sarah as the villain. This is classic abusive behavior. By forcing you to be the one to file, your spouse accomplishes several things:
2. Image Management: When Appearances Matter More Than Reality
Emotionally abusive individuals are often intensely concerned with how others perceive them. Their public image frequently contradicts their private behavior.
The Public/Private Divide: Many abusive partners present themselves as kind, reasonable, and devoted spouses to the outside world. Friends and family might even comment on how lucky you are to have such a "great" partner. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, you experience a completely different person. When you initiate divorce, they can tell everyone, "I never wanted this. She's the one who filed." This image management:
3. Ego Protection: Refusing to Accept Rejection
For many emotionally abusive individuals, being rejected is intolerable to their self-image and ego.
The Rejection Paradox: Despite treating you poorly, your abusive spouse likely cannot tolerate the idea that you would choose to leave them. This paradox stems from deep insecurity masked by controlling behavior. Mark's Experience: One client, Mark, described how his wife belittled him constantly for fifteen years. She criticized his parenting, mocked his career choices, and regularly told him no one else would ever want him. Yet when Mark finally decided to file for divorce, she was genuinely shocked and devastated, telling everyone he had "abandoned her without warning" despite years of expressing his unhappiness. By refusing to file themselves, abusive partners:
What This Means For Your Divorce Journey
Understanding these dynamics doesn't make the situation easier emotionally, but it can provide clarity during a confusing time. If you're in this position, here's what you should know:
This Pattern Is Predictable and Common First and foremost, what you're experiencing isn't unique or your fault. As a divorce coach, I see this exact scenario play out repeatedly. The refusal to file, the blame-shifting when you do file, and the sudden reputation management are all predictable behaviors from emotionally abusive partners. Their Resistance Confirms Your Decision Many clients question their decision when their spouse reacts with blame and accusations. Remember: this reaction is further evidence of the emotional manipulation that has characterized your relationship. Their response isn't about love—it's about control. Healing Begins With Breaking The Pattern Taking the step to file for divorce when your spouse refuses is often the first move in breaking the cycle of emotional abuse. It's difficult and scary, but my clients consistently report feeling an enormous weight lifted once the process begins. One client described it perfectly: "It was like a 180-pound dark veil had been covering my entire body for as long as I could remember. Suddenly it was gone, and I wondered why I hadn't removed it sooner." Prepare For Continued Manipulation Throughout the divorce process, expect your spouse to continue their controlling behaviors. They may:
Moving Forward: Finding Strength to Break Free
If you recognize your relationship in this post, you're facing a challenging but ultimately liberating journey. Here's what helps my clients successfully navigate this transition:
You're Not Alone in This Journey
The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. The patterns you've experienced in your marriage and now in the divorce process are common in emotionally abusive relationships. What you're feeling—the confusion, frustration, guilt, and relief—are all normal responses.
Taking the step to file when your spouse refuses isn't failing at marriage; it's choosing health, respect, and a better future. It's reclaiming your power from someone who has used control and manipulation to diminish you. It's putting a STOP to the lost time and added stress to your life. 
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you're struggling with an emotionally abusive spouse who refuses to file for divorce, I'm here to help. As a divorce coach who specializes in helping clients navigate these exact situations, I offer compassionate guidance through every step of the process.
Schedule a free consultation with me to discuss your specific situation and develop a strategy that protects your wellbeing while achieving your goals. Together, we can transform this challenging transition into the beginning of a healthier, happier chapter in your life. Remember: filing for divorce when your spouse won't isn't giving up—it's finally standing up for yourself.
Originally Published August, 2021. Updated March 2025.
We've all heard it countless times: "Divorce is so hard on children; parents should stick it out for the kids!" This well-intentioned advice gets passed around like an unquestionable truth, placing enormous guilt on parents contemplating separation.
Yes, divorce is challenging for children. But what's often overlooked in these conversations is how much more damaging it can be for children to live in a home filled with tension, conflict, resentment, and emotional neglect. A home where children walk on eggshells around their parents. A home where they learn to manipulate warring adults to get their needs met. A home where healthy relationships remain an abstract concept rather than a lived reality. 
As a divorce coach who has worked with hundreds of families, I've witnessed firsthand how divorce—when handled with intention and care—can create a path toward healing and growth for the entire family. Let me share why separating might actually be the healthier choice for your children, even though the journey isn't easy.
The Hidden Damage of "Staying Together for the Kids"
When parents remain in a deeply unhappy or dysfunctional marriage solely for their children's sake, they often don't realize the subtle yet profound messages they're sending. Children are incredibly perceptive; they absorb the unspoken dynamics of a household like sponges.
In homes affected by roommate syndrome—where parents have emotionally disconnected but continue living under the same roof—children observe a relationship devoid of affection, respect, or genuine partnership. This creates a distorted template for what relationships should look like.
What Children Learn in an Unhappy Home:
One client's story illustrates this perfectly. Maria's (name changed) middle school children were living in a household where their father struggled with alcoholism and bipolar disorder. Their home life was unpredictable and often frightening, with the children never knowing which version of their father they would encounter each day.
The constant stress manifested in declining grades, social withdrawal, and anxiety symptoms. Though Maria worried about how divorce would affect her children, the reality of their current situation was already causing significant harm. The children weren't thriving—they were surviving. How Divorce Can Create Positive Change for Children
After careful consideration and preparation, Maria made the difficult decision to divorce. What happened next surprised her: rather than creating additional trauma, the separation became a catalyst for healing.
With the marriage ended, her ex-husband finally acknowledged the severity of his conditions and sought professional help. With my help, Maria established clear boundaries and structured visitation that prioritized the children's emotional safety. Within months, her children's academic performance improved, they reconnected with friends, and the constant anxiety they'd lived with began to dissipate.
This story isn't uncommon among families I've worked with. When parents separate thoughtfully, with proper support systems in place, children often experience:
Age-Specific Considerations When Divorcing with ChildrenBirth to Age 10: The Adaptability Advantage
Younger children often demonstrate remarkable resilience during family transitions like divorce. While they certainly need support and reassurance, they typically haven't yet internalized rigid ideas about what families "should" look like.
For children under 10, the consistency of routines and the emotional availability of their parents matter far more than whether those parents live under the same roof. These children tend to adapt more readily to new living arrangements, particularly when both parents:
One father I worked with was amazed at how quickly his 6-year-old and 8-year-old adjusted to their new family structure. "They were sad at first," he shared, "but once they understood the schedule and saw that Mom and I could talk without fighting, they seemed relieved. It was like a weight had been lifted off their small shoulders."
Ages 10-18: Navigating the Teen Terrain
The teenage years bring additional complexity to family transitions. Adolescents are developing their identities while also managing intense hormonal and social changes. When divorce enters this already tumultuous period, reactions can vary dramatically.
Some teens make their parents' divorce "about them," creating additional drama or using the situation to manipulate both households. Others, particularly those who've witnessed years of parental conflict or lived through toxic family dynamics, may actually feel relieved when their parents separate.
I remember working with mom who said her 16-year-old confided, "I've been wishing you would divorce since I was twelve. Living with you fighting or ignoring each other was worse than anything. At least now everyone can stop pretending."
For teenagers experiencing divorce, what helps most is:
Breaking Free from Roommate Syndrome
Signs your marriage may have devolved into roommate syndrome include:
When parents in this situation divorce mindfully, children gain the opportunity to see their parents potentially find happiness—either in healthier relationships or in the authenticity of contentedly single life. This gives children permission to prioritize their own emotional well-being in future relationships.
Recommended Resources for Parents
If you or someone you know is going through a divorce with children, read this post of books I highly recommend. I often suggest these to my clients, and they're available at most local libraries or online.
Moving Forward: Creating a Positive Post-Divorce Family
Divorce doesn't end your family; it reorganizes it. The most important factor in children's adjustment isn't whether their parents stayed married, but how their parents manage the separation process and co-parenting relationship.
Research consistently shows that the level of conflict between parents is the strongest predictor of children's adjustment problems—not the divorce itself. When parents can maintain a cooperative co-parenting relationship with low conflict, children typically adjust well over time.
Steps for creating a positive transition include:
Final Thoughts: Choosing Courage Over Comfort
Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't noble sacrifice—it's modeling settling for less than you deserve. Divorce with children requires tremendous courage, but sometimes it's exactly what everyone needs to thrive.
I won't sugar-coat this: navigating divorce with children is challenging. This is precisely why I do what I do: helping my clients become the best versions of themselves throughout the divorce process so they can be the best possible parents for their children. If you're contemplating divorce and worried about your children, remember that they deserve parents who are thriving, not just surviving. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your family is to choose a new path forward.
Are you struggling with making this difficult decision? As a Certified Divorce Coach, I help parents navigate these complex choices with their children's best interests at heart. Contact me for a consultation to discuss your specific situation.
*Originally Published: January 2023*
*Last Updated: February 2025*
Just like a house fire, divorce can feel overwhelming and chaotic when it first begins. As both a property manager who has handled multiple fire emergencies and a professional divorce coach, I've learned that preparation and knowledge are your greatest allies in any crisis.
When Your Marriage Feels Like It's Going Up in Flames
I remember sitting at home one evening, scrolling through my phone while my husband practiced guitar. Our holiday celebrations had just wound down after our son's New Year's Eve birthday when the urgent text came through: "Aimee's apartment is on fire." As we waited for the fire chief's call, I felt an unexpected sense of calm. Why? Because I knew exactly what to do. I had been through this before.
This experience mirrors what I see in my divorce coaching practice. When you're prepared and have expert guidance, even the most challenging situations become manageable. Let me share that same sense of calm and preparedness with you. 
Signs Your Marriage Might Be Heading Toward Divorce
Before we dive into preparation steps, let's acknowledge some common indicators that often bring clients to my door:
- Communication has broken down despite attempts at improvement - You're walking on eggshells to avoid conflict - Separate lives have become the norm - Financial discussions always end in arguments - Intimacy and emotional connection have disappeared Essential Financial Preparations Before Divorce
Please note that if you are in an emergency or dangerous situation, you may not have time to do this. It is far more important to protect you and your children's well being than to have all of these financial steps in place. Consider these a guide but not a requirement in order to take that first step towards divorce by booking a call with me.
Emotional Preparation: Protecting Your Well-being
Practical Steps to Take Now
2. Create Emotional Boundaries
- Establish private communication channels - Maintain a journal to document important events - Practice self-care routines - Set limits on divorce-related discussions The Role of a Divorce Coach in Your Journey
As your divorce coach, I serve as your personal guide through this challenging transition. I help you:
- Understand your options - Create a strategic plan - Make informed decisions - Navigate emotional challenges - Prepare for legal consultations - Build confidence in your future I sincerely appreciated Katie's effort, communication, and sound judgement. To have her by my side providing advice from her wealth of experience, both personal, and that of her many clients, was incredibly comforting and helped me to feel like I was doing the very best I could do with the best information I had available to me. Every divorce comes with stress, and millions of to-do's, and worries, and am-I-doing-this-right's, and having Katie available as often as she was to provide the assistance she was able to provide was very helpful, and gave me the strength and confidence to keep pushing forward. Thank you, Katie! ~Amanda A, Morton, Illinois Moving Forward with Confidence
Just as I felt calm during our property emergency because I knew what to do, you can face divorce with confidence when you're properly prepared. Having helped numerous clients navigate this journey, I've seen how preparation can transform a crisis into an opportunity for positive change.
I wish I could document how many times someone calls me months or even YEARS into the divorce process, after spending tens of thousands of dollars, saying they wished they had hired me from the beginning. Instead, they thought they could handle it on their own, that the attorney their friend referred them to would work well for them and their spouse would be reasonable. Unfortunately, those friend and family referred attorneys don't often work out and spouses can get *very* unreasonable once papers are filed if it's not handled properly. An investment in a divorce coach pays dividends in cost savings, emotional well being for everyone and saves months or even years of time navigating the confusing court system. My most common package costs the equivalent of 4 attorney hours, but clients get me 1:1 for an entire year. Just think of how much they save in attorney fees! If your budget is tight, be sure to check out my course: "Trail Guide to Divorcing With Dignity" You get all of the information at a pace and time you choose. Ready to Take the Next Step?
Originally Published: January 28, 2022 Last Updated: February 2024
The morning sun streams through your window, bringing with it a chance for change. Every new day offers an opportunity to transform your life, to choose a different path. I know this firsthand because I have stood exactly where you might be standing now - at the crossroads of staying in an unfulfilling marriage or taking that first brave step toward change.
Today, I wake up beside my loving husband, surrounded by the joyful chaos of our two wonderful children. This life, this happiness - it all started with one decision. One step forward into the unknown. As a divorce coach, I've witnessed countless clients transform their lives just as I did, but I understand the weight of that first step. 
Understanding When It's Time To Divorce
Katie was a much needed consultant for me! I did not know anything about what the divorce process would be like. She was there for me EVERY step of the way!! Thank you, Katie! ~Sheryl S, Dunlap, Illinois The True Cost Of Waiting To Divorce
Katie was so wonderful! During what started out as a very stressful time in my life she helped me stay grounded and focused on the end result which was what was best for me and my family. She offered good advice and made herself available to talk and reassure me! Emotional Journey and Common Fears of Divorce
Breaking Free From Divorce Myths
The Power of Professional Support
Success Stories That Light the Way
I think about Sarah, who came to me terrified of financial ruin. Today, she runs her own successful business. Or Maria, who worried she'd never co-parent effectively with her ex - now they're a model of healthy post-divorce parenting. These women, like you, just needed someone to help them take that first step. Read more testimonials from past clients and see how their lives were transformed!
Your Divorce Journey Begins Here
The future you desire might be just one decision away. As someone who has walked this path both personally and professionally, I can tell you that what lies ahead often surpasses our wildest dreams. The unknown isn't your enemy - it's fertile ground for new possibilities.
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