“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” Glennon Doyle
As my first marriage crumbled, I remember wondering why this was so hard? I thought I had made the right choice in my first husband. I imagine he felt the same. We were both intelligent, hard working, frugal and almost always did the right thing. We were good people; shouldn't this be easy?
Except that we got married and it wasn't working. Divorce was hard but NOT divorcing would have been exponentially harder.
Once I accepted it was OKAY for two good people to not be good TOGETHER the idea of my divorce became a lot easier to handle. Once that I accepted that our hard working personalities were not a determination of marital success it became easier to continue on a path of personal success as I learned how to be single. Once I accepted that there was nothing wrong with my ability to love just because I was divorced, it became a lot easier to move forward with my life.
Was the divorce hard? Yes. So hard. But we weren't doing anything wrong. In fact, I think we did life just right by making the choice we did.
Because what if we hadn't? Would we have had children only to divorce a decade and a half later once life with teenagers pushed us over the brink? Would I have had the energy to do what I do now with my gallery, ceramic art and property management? I'm sure I wouldn't have the idea to be a divorce coach. Or would I have fallen into a slump, unenergetic to do anything except survived each day?
That decision is hard. Toggling is harder. Not divorcing is harder. So many clients, once their divorce is finalized, tell me how mad they are at themselves that they haven't done this SOONER. That it feels like a massive weight has been lifted. That life seems so much brighter now. You can read more about what they have to say HERE.
Have you decided? Or maybe you just need a little bit of clarity to make that final decision. Maybe you need to understand the timing or logistics of the divorce process, let's have a call. 30 minutes to clarity.
About Katie VAndenBerg
Katie makes her life surrounded by river valleys and surprisingly beautiful cornfields. Her days are spent helping her divorce clients, working with her tenants, spending time on her pottery wheel and loving her family.