Top 10 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Divorce Attorney

Going through a divorce can be overwhelming, and choosing the right divorce attorney is one of the most critical decisions you'll make during this time. Helping my clients with hiring the right divorce attorney is one of my favorite parts of the process.  This big but seemingly simple step alone helps them feel empowered to make the best choices for their future. Whether you're looking for a "good divorce attorney near me" or want to know the questions to ask a divorce attorney before hiring, my guide will help you navigate the process with confidence.

Why is choosing the right divorce attorney so important?

What’s the worst that can happen? 
Let’s start with the most important part: All divorce Attorneys are not created equal.

Real-Life Example: The Wrong Attorney Led to Delayed Results and Higher Costs

Susan, a mother of two, was going through a challenging divorce. On the advice of a friend, she hired the first divorce attorney she consulted, without doing her own research or asking the right questions. The attorney didn't specialize in family law and was juggling various types of cases. As a result, Susan's case took far longer than expected. Important deadlines were missed, and the attorney’s lack of experience in complex child custody laws meant that Susan had to settle for an unfavorable custody arrangement.
Not only did the process drag on for over two years, but the attorney's mistakes also caused additional legal fees to pile up. In the end, Susan felt financially drained and emotionally defeated. She realized too late that not asking the right questions of her attorney had jeopardized her case.
If Susan had worked with a divorce coach she would have known to do her research and find a specialized attorney.  She also could have searched for a “good divorce attorney near me” or asked more targeted questions during her consultation. She could have saved time, money, and the stress of an extended legal battle.

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I have seen this time and time again. I often get calls from people who didn’t consult me before choosing an attorney. They’re nearly in tears after spending tens of thousands of dollars, feeling like they're losing everything.  “But my friend used them and loved them!”  After I ask more questions I find out that the friend also had no money to split and their only child was already an adult.  No financial settlement stress and no parenting plan to worry about.  Meanwhile, the person on the other end of the phone has a large inheritance and three children under the age of 12.  Yikes! These situations are vastly different, and you need an attorney who understands the complexities of your unique case.

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You also want a divorce attorney that is empathetic but firm.  Some divorce attorneys will tell clients anything to help them feel better, even if it’s an impossible idea.  In this case, the client finds themselves constantly paying larger and larger bills to the divorce attorney, chasing after their empty promises that sound so alluring.  Other attorneys will take full control of the case and not run any ideas by the client.  Suddenly, when the divorce is over, the client feels like they had no say in any of it and aren’t sure how they even got there with a settlement they hate.  ​

Real-Life Example: Lack of Financial Expertise Cost John His Retirement

John had been married for over 20 years and built a successful small business during that time. When he filed for divorce, he hired a general attorney who dabbled in several areas of law, including divorce. However, John’s case involved complicated financial assets—retirement accounts, business interests, and real estate properties.
The attorney didn’t fully understand the complexities of Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs), which are necessary for dividing retirement benefits. This mistake resulted in John losing out on a substantial portion of his retirement savings, and the process of dividing business assets became a nightmare. The attorney's lack of financial expertise ended up costing John tens of thousands of dollars in legal and financial fees, not to mention the stress of an unfair settlement.
Had John asked the right questions about his attorney’s financial knowledge or sought specialized experience by searching for "divorce attorneys near me" who handle complex asset division, his financial future would have been much more secure. 

So what should someone who is thinking about filing for divorce do??

Take it from me and do your research on Divorce Attorneys! Even if you've received a referral from a friend, family member, or another lawyer, it's essential to do your own research. Please, stop googling 'bulldog attorneys'—it's a mistake I see all too often!  Seriously. You do NOT want one.  These divorce attorneys love to feed their ego and do this by bullying and using scare tactics, sometimes even on their own clients!  And second, look into the qualifications of any "divorce attorneys near me" to ensure they have the right experience for your case. Your attorney should have a deep understanding of family law and, more specifically, the divorce process in your state. Just because they CAN push the paperwork through doesn’t mean they SHOULD.  You want someone who has a healthy dose of empathy and the ability to think creatively, especially if your divorce is expected to be volatile

Key Questions to Ask a Divorce Attorney

Before making your decision, it's essential to have an open conversation with any potential lawyer. If they seem put off by this, then they are not the right attorney for you!  These are the questions to ask a divorce attorney that can help you determine if they’re the right fit for your divorce.  When I work with clients, we start with this as a base and dive MUCH deeper into the process of hiring and interviewing the right attorney or mediator for them.  ​

1. Do you specialize in divorces, or are divorces just part of your practice?

You wouldn’t hire a dermatologist to do your colonoscopy, would you? Then don’t hire a criminal defendant for your divorce.  Find out if the attorney dedicates most of their practice to family law and divorces. A seasoned divorce attorney is more likely to have the expertise you need. ​

2. How will you approach my divorce, and how long do you think it will take to be complete?

Get a clear idea of their plan with your divorce. Will they aim for negotiation, or do they foresee a drawn-out court battle? ​

3. How accessible are you? How do you prefer to be contacted?

Knowing how quickly your attorney returns phone calls and what constitutes an emergency is crucial during the emotionally charged process of divorce.

4. Who else will be working on my case?

Larger law firms may assign parts of your case to other attorneys or paralegals. Make sure you're comfortable with the entire team and their experience levels.

5. Can I negotiate directly with my spouse?

Some attorneys may prefer to handle all communication, while others might encourage you to engage in direct negotiation to keep costs down. Ask how you can help streamline the process.

6. What are your fees and retainer requirements?

Understanding the financial aspect of hiring a lawyer is important. Ask how they charge for their time, including the time of other professionals like paralegals or assistants.

7. What additional costs should I expect?

Besides attorney fees, your case may require external professionals such as forensic accountants or child custody evaluators. Clarify these potential costs upfront.

8. What do you wish more clients knew about the divorce process?

This is a great way to get your divorce attorney to open up and speak candidly.  Listen closely because they will help you understand how to be a good client so they can best represent you!

9. Can you estimate the total cost of the divorce?

While divorce attorneys often hesitate to provide exact cost estimates, asking this question can give you insight into their transparency. Be wary of unrealistic promises of low costs or flat rates.

10. What outcome do you predict based on my case?

A seasoned divorce attorney should be able to provide insight into how a judge may rule in your situation. This will help set realistic expectations for the outcome of your divorce.

Making the Right Choice for Your Divorce Attorney

Hiring the right divorce attorney is a vital step in protecting your interests and securing the best possible outcome in your case. Take the time to meet with several divorce attorneys. Take your time and make an informed choice, rather than feeling pressured to hire the first attorney you meet. I always encourage my clients to make informed decisions and provide support throughout the attorney selection process.
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If you need additional help finding the right attorney or would like personalized guidance on navigating your divorce, please contact me for resources and support tailored to your needs. I’m here to help you move forward with confidence.

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