Choosing the Hard Path: A Divorce Coach’s Perspective

“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” – Glennon Doyle
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When my first marriage began to unravel, I kept asking myself, Why is this so hard? I thought I had chosen the right partner. He was intelligent, hardworking, frugal, and kind—just like me. We were both good people. Shouldn’t this have been enough?

Our Marriage Wasn't Working

But it wasn’t. As difficult as divorce seemed, not divorcing would have been exponentially harder.

Once I realized it was okay for two good people to not be good together, I started to see my situation more clearly. Divorce no longer felt like failure; it felt like choosing a better future. Accepting that my personality or work ethic didn’t guarantee marital success allowed me to focus on my personal success and healing. Letting go of the notion that divorce meant I was unworthy of love made moving forward possible.

Divorce Is Hard

—so hard. But it wasn’t because we did anything wrong. In fact, deciding to part ways was one of the bravest, healthiest decisions we could have made.

What If I Hadn't Made the Decision to Divorce?

Would we have stayed together for years, only to face a high-conflict divorce later? Would raising children in an unhappy home have made co-parenting with a narcissist even more challenging? Would I have had the energy to pursue my passions—like starting my art gallery or becoming a divorce coach?
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The truth is, staying stuck is often harder than leaving. Many of my clients—whether they’re searching for a lawyer near them for divorce or navigating the challenges of co-parenting—share how relieved they feel once their divorce is finalized. They’re often surprised by how quickly life starts to feel lighter and brighter.

One client told me, “I was so angry at myself for waiting this long. I feel like I can finally breathe again.” Another shared how her attorney for family law near her helped her understand the process, but she needed a divorce coach to provide emotional clarity and support.

Divorce is undeniably hard, especially in cases of high-conflict divorces or when co-parenting with a difficult ex. But choosing the right support system—a knowledgeable family law attorney, a high-conflict divorce coach, and a plan for your future—can make all the difference.

Finding Clarity in the Chaos

When Rachel first called me, she sounded completely overwhelmed. “I don’t even know where to start,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “I never thought I’d be here—Googling ‘divorce coach’ because I don’t know what else to do.”

Rachel’s story isn’t unique, but it’s still deeply personal. Like so many others, she had been stuck in what I call the limbo stage--that place where you’re not sure whether to stay or leave. Every day felt like a battle: arguments with her spouse, sleepless nights, and the constant fear of making the wrong decision.

She had already consulted a lawyer near her for divorce, but even with the legal side in motion, she felt lost. “I thought once I hired an attorney, I’d feel more in control,” she said. “But the logistics of divorce are just one piece of the puzzle. What about everything else? The emotions, the decisions about my kids, the life I’m trying to rebuild—how do I handle all of that?”

This is where divorce coaching comes in.

During our first session, I asked Rachel a question that changed everything for her: What does your life look like one year from now, if everything has gone the way you hope?

For the first time in months, she paused and really thought about her answer. She didn’t talk about court battles or dividing assets; she described peace. She envisioned a home filled with laughter instead of tension, a co-parenting arrangement that worked for her children, and a career she could focus on without constant distractions.
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As a divorce coach, my role is to help clients like Rachel bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. For Rachel, that meant unpacking her fears, breaking down the overwhelming process into manageable steps, and learning how to advocate for herself during a high-conflict divorce.

Over the next few months, Rachel transformed. She grew more confident in communicating her needs with her attorney and setting boundaries with her spouse. She even started to see glimpses of the life she had described in our first session—a life filled with peace and possibility.

When her divorce was finalized, Rachel told me, “I couldn’t have done this without you. My lawyer handled the legal stuff, but you helped me find myself again.”

Whether you’re just starting to explore your options or are already knee-deep in the process, a divorce coach can provide clarity and support in ways you might not expect. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, let’s talk.

Your next chapter is waiting, and you don’t have to face it alone. Schedule your Free 30 Minute Divorce Consultation call today—because sometimes, the hardest step is the first one.