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Divorce can feel like navigating an uncharted wilderness—overwhelming, emotional, and full of unforeseen obstacles. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right tools and guidance, you can move through your divorce with clarity, confidence, and yes, dignity. That’s why I created Trail Guide to Navigating Your Divorce, a comprehensive course designed to be your trusted companion through this challenging journey. Here’s what you need to know about the course, what it includes, and how it can help you reclaim your peace of mind while paving the way for a brighter future.
What Is the Trail Guide to Navigating Your Divorce Course?
For only $299, you get immediate, full access to the course. Each module includes a dedicated YouTube video and a Google Doc to help you put the lessons into action. You’ll also have the option to add a "One Hour to Clarity" call with me at a discounted rate of $79, giving you personalized guidance at a fraction of my standard coaching fee.
Even better? If you decide you want even more help from me after completing the course, the $299 course fee will be credited toward your 1:1 coaching package. Divorce Planning Made Simple: What You’ll Learn in Each Module
Here’s a glimpse at what the course covers:
Module 1: Choose the Right Path for Your Divorce
Module 2: Build Your Dream Divorce Support Team
Module 3: Parenting Through Divorce with Grace
Module 4: Financial Confidence During Divorce
Module 5: Stay Focused and Keep Moving Forward
Why My Trail Guide to Navigating Your Divorce Stands Out
The Trail Guide to Navigating Your Divorce isn’t just about surviving divorce; it’s about thriving through it. Here’s what sets it apart:
Who Should Enroll in This Divorce Coaching Course?
Take the First Step Toward Divorcing with Dignity
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“I want a divorce, but my husband doesn’t. He’s happy keeping our unhappy marriage as-is. What if he says ‘no’?”
This is a question I hear a lot during consultations. On this particular call, the woman sounded tired and uncertain. She had been carrying the weight of a high-conflict marriage for years, and the idea of seeking divorce seemed daunting—especially because her husband refused to acknowledge their problems. The question itself reveals a common misconception about divorce: that both spouses need to agree. Many people have absorbed this idea from what I like to call “TV Divorce.” Think of the melodramatic scenes where a controlling spouse tears up divorce papers in a rage or a narcissistic partner smugly declares, "You can’t leave me." These narratives fuel anxiety and reinforce the myth that one person can block a divorce simply by refusing to cooperate. The reality, however, is far less dramatic—and far more empowering. 
Do You Need Your Spouse’s Permission to Divorce?
The answer is no. If you’re in Illinois, like many of my clients, you live in a no-fault divorce state. This means you don’t need to provide specific reasons like infidelity or abuse, nor do you need your spouse’s consent. The law allows you to file for divorce independently. In fact, across all 50 states, one spouse can file for divorce without the other’s agreement. While a few states, like Mississippi, Tennessee, and South Dakota, have additional requirements for no-fault divorces, these don’t mean both spouses must agree—they just require a reason.
States That Require a Cooling Off Period Before Divorce
Certain states also have separation or "cooling-off" periods designed to encourage couples to pause and reflect. While all states allow one spouse to file for divorce without the other's agreement, some require a period of separation or a cooling-off period before the divorce can be finalized. These requirements vary by state and are often designed to give couples time to reflect and consider reconciliation before moving forward. Here are the states with these provisions at the time of writing:
These timelines can feel like an additional hurdle, especially in high-conflict divorces, but they’re often manageable with the right legal and emotional support. A high-conflict divorce coach can help you strategize and stay focused during these waiting periods, ensuring you remain prepared and confident as you work toward your goals. Facing Resistance: Why Some Spouses Say "No"
It’s common for controlling or narcissistic spouses to resist divorce, even when they seem equally miserable in the marriage. Often, it’s not about love or reconciliation—it’s about control. Divorce threatens their carefully curated image or strips away the power they hold over their partner. While we can’t always pinpoint their exact motives, it’s important to remember this: their refusal to “allow” a divorce doesn’t stop you from pursuing it.
Three Ways to Respond When Your Spouse Doesn’t Agree to a Divorce
1. Kind But Firm
This approach works well if your spouse is more hurt than hostile. It acknowledges their feelings while making your stance clear:
“I understand that you are hurt by this. Believe me, this is not the path I expected for our lives either. But here we are. I am willing to move forward peacefully, amicably, and as fairly as possible. I fully intend to file for divorce. With your cooperation, we can both move on with our lives and, if children are involved, co-parent effectively. Let’s work together to come up with an agreement we can both live with and save as much money with attorneys as possible.” This type of response shows empathy but leaves no room for debate about your decision. It can help set the tone for a cooperative divorce process. 2. Stern But Firm
3. Protecting Your Sanity and Safety
If your spouse’s refusal to agree turns hostile or poses a danger to your emotional or physical well-being, your focus must shift to self-protection. In these cases, you don’t owe them an explanation. Instead, prioritize your safety.
You do not have to respond to their objections. If you are at risk of physical harm, get yourself and your children to a safe place. Work with an attorney to file for divorce, and have them served by a process server. You don’t need to be present for this step. Remember, it is not your responsibility to manage their emotions or their response to the divorce papers. This approach acknowledges that in high-conflict or abusive marriages, personal safety comes first. A high-conflict divorce coach or legal professional can guide you through the process while safeguarding your mental and physical well-being. Divorcing a Narcissist
Let me share the story of Susan (name changed for privacy), one of my clients who faced this exact dilemma. Susan had been married for over 20 years to a man who controlled every aspect of her life. When she told him she wanted a divorce, his response was immediate and dismissive:
“You’ll never go through with it. I won’t let you.” Susan felt trapped. His refusal to acknowledge her autonomy mirrored the years of control and manipulation she’d endured. But Susan reached out for help. Through divorce coaching, we explored her options, prepared her for the emotional and legal challenges ahead, and created a strategy to move forward safely. When she filed for divorce, her husband initially ignored the papers, insisting she’d never leave. But the legal system doesn’t allow one spouse to block a divorce, and Susan’s persistence paid off. Today, she’s living independently and rediscovering her sense of self. Her story is a testament to the fact that you don’t need anyone’s permission to reclaim your life.
“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” – Glennon Doyle
When my first marriage began to unravel, I kept asking myself, Why is this so hard? I thought I had chosen the right partner. He was intelligent, hardworking, frugal, and kind—just like me. We were both good people. Shouldn’t this have been enough? 
Our Marriage Wasn't Working
But it wasn’t. As difficult as divorce seemed, not divorcing would have been exponentially harder.
Once I realized it was okay for two good people to not be good together, I started to see my situation more clearly. Divorce no longer felt like failure; it felt like choosing a better future. Accepting that my personality or work ethic didn’t guarantee marital success allowed me to focus on my personal success and healing. Letting go of the notion that divorce meant I was unworthy of love made moving forward possible. Divorce Is Hard
—so hard. But it wasn’t because we did anything wrong. In fact, deciding to part ways was one of the bravest, healthiest decisions we could have made.
What If I Hadn't Made the Decision to Divorce?
Would we have stayed together for years, only to face a high-conflict divorce later? Would raising children in an unhappy home have made co-parenting with a narcissist even more challenging? Would I have had the energy to pursue my passions—like starting my art gallery or becoming a divorce coach?
The truth is, staying stuck is often harder than leaving. Many of my clients—whether they’re searching for a lawyer near them for divorce or navigating the challenges of co-parenting—share how relieved they feel once their divorce is finalized. They’re often surprised by how quickly life starts to feel lighter and brighter.
One client told me, “I was so angry at myself for waiting this long. I feel like I can finally breathe again.” Another shared how her attorney for family law near her helped her understand the process, but she needed a divorce coach to provide emotional clarity and support.
Divorce is undeniably hard, especially in cases of high-conflict divorces or when co-parenting with a difficult ex. But choosing the right support system—a knowledgeable family law attorney, a high-conflict divorce coach, and a plan for your future—can make all the difference. Finding Clarity in the Chaos
When Rachel first called me, she sounded completely overwhelmed. “I don’t even know where to start,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “I never thought I’d be here—Googling ‘divorce coach’ because I don’t know what else to do.”
Rachel’s story isn’t unique, but it’s still deeply personal. Like so many others, she had been stuck in what I call the limbo stage--that place where you’re not sure whether to stay or leave. Every day felt like a battle: arguments with her spouse, sleepless nights, and the constant fear of making the wrong decision. She had already consulted a lawyer near her for divorce, but even with the legal side in motion, she felt lost. “I thought once I hired an attorney, I’d feel more in control,” she said. “But the logistics of divorce are just one piece of the puzzle. What about everything else? The emotions, the decisions about my kids, the life I’m trying to rebuild—how do I handle all of that?” This is where divorce coaching comes in.
During our first session, I asked Rachel a question that changed everything for her: What does your life look like one year from now, if everything has gone the way you hope?
For the first time in months, she paused and really thought about her answer. She didn’t talk about court battles or dividing assets; she described peace. She envisioned a home filled with laughter instead of tension, a co-parenting arrangement that worked for her children, and a career she could focus on without constant distractions. As a divorce coach, my role is to help clients like Rachel bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. For Rachel, that meant unpacking her fears, breaking down the overwhelming process into manageable steps, and learning how to advocate for herself during a high-conflict divorce. 
Over the next few months, Rachel transformed. She grew more confident in communicating her needs with her attorney and setting boundaries with her spouse. She even started to see glimpses of the life she had described in our first session—a life filled with peace and possibility.
When her divorce was finalized, Rachel told me, “I couldn’t have done this without you. My lawyer handled the legal stuff, but you helped me find myself again.” Whether you’re just starting to explore your options or are already knee-deep in the process, a divorce coach can provide clarity and support in ways you might not expect. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, let’s talk. Your next chapter is waiting, and you don’t have to face it alone. Schedule your Free 30 Minute Divorce Consultation call today—because sometimes, the hardest step is the first one. 
Thanksgiving is often seen as a time to reflect on what we’re grateful for, but for those navigating their first Thanksgiving during or after a divorce, it can feel anything but celebratory. As a divorce coach, I’ve walked this road myself and supported many clients through similar challenges. I remember my own first Thanksgiving post-divorce vividly.
My Divorce Was Finalized
the very week of Thanksgiving. I remember the overwhelming loneliness of walking into family gatherings solo. Social media, with its flood of happy couples and cozy family moments, only deepened my sense of isolation. My ex was off traveling with his family, and I couldn’t leave town because I was launching a new business. The weight of my full-time job, the demands of my business, and my sleep deprivation left me feeling utterly unlovable.
This week, a client shared her own story with me. Her ex-husband, who had barely lifted a finger in their marriage, was now hosting Thanksgiving, complete with cooking alongside their kids. She admitted, “It feels like a slap in the face. Why couldn’t he do these things for me when we were together?”
These feelings after Divorce are Common and Valid.
As a divorce coach in Central Illinois, I’ve seen the frustration of watching an ex suddenly take actions they never would have considered during the marriage—hosting family gatherings, exercising, or spending more time with the kids. It stirs up emotions of inadequacy and confusion: Wasn’t I worth that effort?
After sharing her story, my client and I worked together to reframe her experience. While it was painful to see her ex doing things she had long wished for during their marriage, we discussed how his actions no longer defined her worth. Instead, we focused on her own strength in creating a peaceful, welcoming holiday environment for herself and her children. She decided to plan a special day that reflected her values—a relaxed, low-pressure meal with a few close friends and family, followed by games and laughter with her kids. By focusing on what she could control, she began to reclaim the holiday as her own, finding moments of joy amidst the grief. This shift reminded her that Thanksgiving, like life after divorce, is about finding gratitude in the small, meaningful things while giving herself grace to grieve the rest.
Here’s what I’ve learned and share with my clients: Divorce changes people. It forces everyone involved to reevaluate their lives and often sparks behavior shifts. While it’s tempting to view these changes as spiteful or directed at us, it’s important to recognize that these actions are more about their journey than a reflection of your worth.
How to Navigate Holiday Emotions After Divorce
The Divorce Journey is Tough,
but it’s also transformative. Looking back now, almost 20 years after my divorce, I see how much I’ve grown. I’ve built a fulfilling life with my husband, Ben, and our children. We host Thanksgiving together—a joyful, collaborative effort. I often wish I could go back in time to hug my younger self and reassure her: You’re doing the right thing. Trust yourself.
As a divorce coach,
You’re not just surviving—you’re paving the way to something greater.
XO Katie
When it comes to addiction, most people think of substances like alcohol or gambling. But there is another insidious addiction that can consume one's life—an addiction to saving a marriage that has long since become toxic and unsalvageable. As a divorce coach, I’ve witnessed countless clients go through this heartbreaking cycle. They find themselves constantly hoping, holding on to fleeting positive moments that give them just enough of a glimmer to keep pulling the lever on a marriage that’s stuck in a destructive loop. If you feel like this describes your situation, you are not alone—and there is a way out.
Let me share the story of Jessica (name changed for privacy). Jessica came to me feeling exhausted and defeated. She had spent years trapped in what I call "roommate syndrome" with her husband. They were living under the same roof, but any emotional and physical connection was long gone. They coexisted, but they didn’t truly share a life. On rare occasions, her husband would surprise her—a spontaneous dinner date or a heartfelt compliment that made her believe things could get better. But these moments of hope were always followed by weeks of distance, arguments, and cold silences.
Addicted to Saving Your Marriage
Jessica was addicted to these glimmers of positivity, like a gambler at a slot machine. She clung to the hope that the next small win would be the jackpot she had long sought—a return to the loving marriage they once had. Each brief moment of happiness pulled her back in, preventing her from truly acknowledging that their relationship had become a toxic cycle.
What Does a Divorce Coach Do?
When Jessica sought my help as a divorce coach, we began by facing the reality of her situation. Through divorce coaching, we worked to break down the patterns that kept her stuck. One of the most powerful realizations was that she had been throwing her "good emotions, good energy, and good time" after bad. I told Jessica that healing starts when you take control of your own story, and she was ready to do just that.
The Divorce Process
The process wasn’t easy. Addiction of any kind is difficult to break, but with my support as her dedicated divorce coach, Jessica gradually realized that her well-being mattered. She began setting boundaries and engaging in open communication—not with the expectation that her marriage would suddenly change, but with the commitment to protect her own mental and emotional health.
Jessica eventually made the courageous decision to separate. It was painful, but with divorce coaching by her side, she discovered strength she didn’t know she possessed. She is now rebuilding her life with a sense of clarity and empowerment that seemed impossible before.
Feeling Like "Just Roommates" in Marriage? How to Divorce with Dignity and Reclaim Your Life11/6/2024 One of the most common — yet often hidden — reasons people consider divorce is feeling like they’re "just roommates" with their spouse. There's no abuse, no explosive fights, but there’s also no passion, no connection. Just an unyielding, empty space. For many, this lack of intimacy and excitement brings shame, leaving them questioning if their marriage is truly worth leaving.  But this scenario is more common than you might think. As a divorce coach, I’ve encountered countless individuals grappling with these same feelings, unsure if their situation "counts" as a valid reason for divorce. The truth is, feeling alone in a marriage is not unusual, and you deserve support if you're contemplating such a significant life change. Let’s take a closer look at why this happens, what a divorce coach can do to help, and how my course, "Trail Guide to Divorcing with Dignity," provides a private, comprehensive path forward if you’re ready to take that step. The "Roommate" Cycle: How Marriage Can Drift Toward DisconnectionThe path to feeling like "just roommates" often follows a predictable cycle:
Breaking the Cycle: How Divorce Coaching Can HelpWhat does a Divorce Coach do?
Think of me as your Trail GuideAs a divorce coach, I guide clients to assess whether they’re truly ready for divorce and provide tools to manage the emotional and financial challenges that come with it. In many cases, my clients feel relief knowing that their feelings are not only valid but also shared by others. Divorce coaching can demystify the process, allowing you to make informed decisions without fear or shame. "Trail Guide to Divorcing with Dignity": A Divorce Course That Puts You in Control
How the "Trail Guide to Divorcing with Dignity" Course Can Help:
If You’re Ready, Don’t Wait—Start Planning for Your Future
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